Crazy Dark Drivers
by Bakurafangurl91
Summary: What happens when Yugi, Marik and Ryou decide to teach their dark halves how to drive cars?


Disclaimer: If I owned it you would know it. So I do not, since you know I do not.

Summary:

After getting their own bodies, the yami's are forced to learn how to drive cars, what happens when you have psychotic, crazy, arrogant Egyptians and psycho-paths driving on the road?

AN: This is a one shot, it's fairly long, 22 pages on Microsoft Word, I hope this story is good; I randomly came up with the idea today so, enjoy. Also the pairings in here are Deathshipping, Puzzleshipping and Thiefshipping. I figured I could twist things around a bit since, I usually do Darkshipping (LOVE, LOVE that pairing)Sorry for any spelling and grammar errors I might have missed. Anyways, enough of my flapping, on with the story buddlies!

Crazy Dark Drivers:

"Bakura" Ryou said shaking his yami to get out of bed. Said yami groaned pulling the covers over his head. Ryou pulled an uncharacteristic like smirk upon his mouth. Today was the day that he was to teach Bakura how to drive and Bakura was _not_ about to get away with it again.

After the yami's and the hikari's were separated due to some magic, spells and complaints, the hikari's got together and decided that if the yami's were to live in this day and age then they needed to learn how to get around with modern transportation: a car. Of course, all the yami's were very upset at the idea of getting in a "hunk of steel trash" as Yami said. And "scrap heaps of torture" as Bakura would say, but nevertheless the three yami's agreed to it.

It all started with written lessons, which of course Mariku and Bakura paid little attention to. Of course, Yami although unwillingly to learn how to drive at first picked up his pencil and started to write down everything that Ryou, Marik and Yugi had said.

Surprisingly after a few months of just written rules, all three yami's passed. Then Marik, got an idea which would change this "friendly learning" into "completive on-slaughter"

"_Since my Yami did so well on his exam, I believe that we should make a bet to see who can drive the safest the fastest" Marik said as Ryou was looking over the exam papers. Bakura, Mariku and Yami were elsewhere and the three lights were at a small restaurant looking over the papers. "We have a week, whoever learns how to drive the best in seven days gets to pick what we make the yami's do" _

"_Actually, Marik" Ryou said looking up from his paper "It appears that Bakura got the higher score, but I do like your idea" _

"_WHAT" Marik shouted causing some people to look over at them; Marik just grinned embarrassingly and whispered harshly "How?" _

"_Looks like Bakura is smarter than Mariku" Yugi laughed "I always figured as much, seeing that Bakura was a master thief back in Egypt" _

"_that doesn't mean anything Yugi" Marik snarled angry that his friends were picking on his dark half, sure he was psychotic and crazy but Yami and Bakura had never set foot in a car, but Mariku, he knew how to drive a motorcycle, maybe not while he was in control but unlike Yami and Bakura where they had shared a body with Ryou and Yugi via Millennium Ring and Puzzle, Mariku had actually been shared a body without the need of ancient Egyptian artifices. _

"_Mariku is smart" Marik huffed in annoyance. _

"_I never said he wasn't" Yugi said putting a comforting hand upon Marik's shoulder. "But Mariku has been around that long" _

"_So about this bet" Ryou said drinking his tea. _

"_Oh yes" Marik said "We have a three months, to teach our yami's how to drive safely and properly." _

"_Question Marik" Yugi said. _

"_Yes?" Marik said looking at the Pharaoh's light half. _

"_What are you going to teach Mariku on?" Yugi questioned. _

"_My motorcycle I guess" Marik replied. _

_Ryou's eyes widened "No offense Marik but I think you should use a car, just to be on the safe side" _

"_What's wrong with a motorcycle" Marik challenged a little too loudly, thankfully no one was paying attention to the outburst this go round. _

"_Nothing is wrong with it Marik" Ryou said defensively but a motorcycle is a bit more dangerous than a car and Mariku well, he's already dangerous as it is" _

"_I know" Marik sighed "But what choice do I have, I don't have another car" _

"_Maybe we can talk to Ka-"Yugi started to say but then let that thought fly in the wind._

"_Maybe Joey will let us use his car" Ryou suggested. _

"_HA!" Marik laughed "Like Kaiba's dog will let Mariku or Bakura drive his car" _

"_Hey" Yugi said "Cut it out with that Marik" _

"_Sorry Yugi" Marik said apolitically. _

"_It's okay" Yugi said "But I do see your point, how about I let Yami drive Joey's car and Mariku and Bakura can use Ryou's car" _

_Ryou and Marik exchanged looks then looked at Yugi. _

"_That could work" they both said. _

_And so the lights decided that the bet would be Ryou would teach Bakura, Marik would teach Mariku and Yugi would teach Yami how to drive in seven days and whoever should win this bet would have the privilege of telling all three yami's what they had to do for one day. _

"Go away Ryou" Bakura groaned his face buried into the soft pillow. He had had a long, sleepless night and he didn't want to wake up at this time of day.

"I let you sleep in" Ryou said "Now get up"

"If I get up and I see the Pharaoh can I kill him?" Bakura asked rolling over to face Ryou.

"NO" Ryou snapped.

"Then I will not get up" and with that the thief rolled back over, pulling the covers over his head.

Ryou growled in annoyance and frustration. How was he supposed to win this damn bet of Marik's if his yami didn't even get up? "Bakura" Ryou said shaking his yami once again. "Please get up you need to learn how to drive"

"And you need to learn how to be a good little mortal and let me kill the Pharaoh and Mariku" Bakura snapped tiredly.

"Bakura why would I let you kill someone?" Ryou asked "They're my friends and besides, you know I have feelings for Mariku"

Bakura sat up suddenly and smirked "Ah yes, Ryou Bakura likes them dangerous and psychotic; he likes them tan" Bakura teased

Ryou blushed "I-I do not" he stammered.

"Seeing that you like that sort of thing, I would have been perfect for you back in Egypt" Bakura said throwing his legs over the bed.

"Are you finally getting up?" Ryou asked avoiding the current conversation.

"I suppose so since you don't seem like you're going to leave me alone" Bakura said.

Ryou left the room to let Bakura get ready, putting on some breakfast for him and his yami. Bakura came out of the room about thirty minutes later showered and dressed. He looked at the grandfather clock in the living room and groaned it read_ 11:23am._

"Is there a reason why I'm getting up at the crack of dawn?" Bakura asked taking his seat at the table.

"Mariku and you are sharing my car" Ryou said.

"And why?" Bakura asked throwing some food in his mouth. Ryou pretended he didn't see his dark half's inexcusable table manners and continued his explanation "Marik only has a motorcycle-"

"Well he can use that then" Bakura interrupted.

"No he cannot Bakura" Ryou snapped. Bakura raised an eyebrow at his hikari's outburst but brushed it off, Ryou wasn't threatening to him in the slightest. Ryou sighed taking a gulp of his tea before continuing "Motorcycles are extremely dangerous and they require you to be able to balance them. I'm sorry but I'd rather Mariku be safe"

"I don't know what you see in him" Bakura said.

"And I don't see what you see in Marik!" Ryou fired back.

"Marik is very tigh-"

"UGGH" Ryou said plugging his ears with his fingers. "I do NOT want to hear about that"

Bakura just laughed "I could give you some tips Ryou" Bakura purred.

Ryou just rolled his eyes.

After breakfast was cleaned up not too much help from Bakura of course, Ryou grabbed the keys to his car which his father had sent him the cash and everything he needed in order to buy it, it wasn't a car too expensive, a little Honda Accord which Ryou loved. It was black with a tan interior.

"This thing is too small from me to get into" Bakura said eyeing the machine in front of him. Ryou rolled his eyes.

"Bakura fat people drive Honda Accords and you, are nowhere near fat, now get in the driver's seat" Ryou said.

"I need the keys" Bakura said his hand on the door handle.

"You'll get that when you get in" Ryou said. Bakura mumbled something about lights taking over the world and got in the car.

"Now" Ryou said "before we begin, I want you to listen to me and not say anything"

Bakura nodded he was ready to get this lame shit over with, he didn't see the point in learning this but I guess if he was going to be a part of this modern world might as well learn their mode of transportation right?

"The round thing in front of you is the steering wheel, it helps keep the car steady and level, when you turn it to the right the car goes to the right, when you turn it to the left, it will go to the left" Ryou said. "However, backing up you must do the opposite"

Bakura's eyebrow rose slightly but he didn't say anything. "Now on the steering wheel we have the gear shift which will allow you to go in either reverse, drive, overdrive, neutral or park. The only three you need to worry about our overdrive, park and reverse. On the other side you have the blinker, push it down Bakura"

Bakura did and a green arrow pointing left flickered on and off. "That is your left signal, when you wish to go right push it upward. At night you are required to have your lights on. See the knob right there" Ryou asked pointing to the knob where the headlight controls were.

"Yeah" Bakura said "This?" he asked. Ryou nodded.

"The first set is parking lights; they're mainly used for when it starts getting dark if you turn the knob to the right a second time your lights will come on"

"There are also bright lights which you won't need to use unless you're on a country road and it's darker than the Shadow Realm and I believe you can see pretty well in that so.." Ryou said letting his voice trail off. "Anyways the blinker is your windshield wipers too you turn the knob to control them.

"What does this have to do with driving?" Bakura said suddenly.

"It has EVERYTHING to do with driving Bakura" Ryou shouted "Now please pay attention because I KNOW you can do this"

Bakura just rolled his eyes waving his Hikari off, "yeah, yeah" he said. "Let's just go, I want to run over some little mortals"

"And that's another thing" Ryou said "If you hit someone with a car you will go to jail"

"I can escape" the thief said casually.

"Whatever Bakura" Ryou said "let's just move on"

"Now, look down at your feet" Ryou said and Bakura did so. "Those are the pedals; do not worry about the small one on the far left that is an emergency brake. The only two we are going to concentrate on our brake and the gas. The brake is the center one and the gas is the right one. Now you see this mirror" Ryou asked pointing to the rearview mirror. "This is called your rearview mirror it allows you to see what's behind you, but bear in mind that objects are closer than they appear. Also there are mirrors on the sides for when you need to switch lanes; you can adjust them how you want. Okay now gets comfortable and we can begin"

Bakura looked at Ryou for a moment and nodded. He adjusted the seat to his liking and Ryou handed him the keys.

"Put the key in the intuition and turn the key until I say stop" Ryou instruction. Bakura nodded doing as Ryou said.

"Okay the car is on now" Ryou said and Bakura let go of the key. "Now, I want you to put your right foot on the brake pedal and grab the gear shift"

"Why do I need to press the brake we're not even going" Bakura said confused that Ryou asked him such a stupid thing to do.

"When shifting gears you have to press the brake, you're lucky that this isn't a manual where you have to have a clutch" Ryou laughed "Believe me that is hard and I'm from this day and age."

Bakura opened his mouth to ask what that was but he decided he could ask later right now he wanted to go about 100 miles an hour and run over some little dog or squirrel. Bakura pressed the brake and grabbed the gear shift.

"I parked the car backwards because I want you to get used to going forward first" Ryou said and Bakura nodded. "Put the car in overdrive and slowly let go of the brake"

Bakura did and the car jerked. Bakura's eyes widened.

"No need to rush" Ryou said calmly. "Go to the end of the driveway and when I say stop put your right foot on the gas"

"Wouldn't it make more sense to have my left foot on the brake and my right on the gas?" Bakura questioned having his foot on the brake at the moment.

"No" Ryou said "because they will fail you at DMV now do as I say please"

Bakura sighed not liking this one bit; his Hikari was getting bossy maybe Mariku was rubbing off on him too much, who knew. Bakura slowly let go of the brakes once again and started toward the end of the driveway, barely pressing the gas. He growled in frustration this was taking too long for his liking, then he, without warning slammed on the gas, which caused his light half to yelp in shock.

"Bakura slow down!" Ryou cried but Bakura wasn't listening, when he got to the end of the driveway he quickly slammed on brakes, which would have caused Ryou to hit the dash if he hadn't been wearing his seatbelt.

"WHAT THE HELL yami!" Ryou cursed loudly and with anger. "Driving is dangerous now I suggest you listen to me this is NOT a Ra damn horse, get your shit together or you can get Yami to teach you how to drive because at this rate he probably already knows how to drive some!"

Bakura just shrugged "I don't want to learn how to drive in the first place and I'm sure the other two darks didn't either, so why are you three forcing us to?" Bakura asked.

"For the thousand-"Ryou began but the car started rolling into the street. "Bakura apply the brake" Bakura did and Ryou sighed. "Okay I'm sorry for getting so carried away. "Now, we are going to go to the right so turn your right blinker on"

Bakura pushed the blinker down, Ryou sighed shaking his head "the other way"

Bakura didn't say anything irritated that this was still going on and they hadn't even left the damn driveway yet.

"Slowly pull out; you must stay on your side of the road which means on the right side of those yellow lines. Obey all traffic laws and do as I say" Ryou said.

"Yes master" Bakura said sarcastically.

Ryou didn't say anything as Bakura pulled onto their small street.

"The speed limit is 35 remember that" he said and Bakura pressed the gas immediately going up to 35. But this felt slow to him and there wasn't in cops around, he wasn't worried about them anyways, he could outdo them but Ryou would be mad and he and Ryou had come to an understanding of one another and respected each other after they had gained their own bodies and Bakura and Ryou told each other their secrets.

Ryou smiled, Bakura was doing fantastic for his first time. "Just wait until Yugi and Marik hear about this" Ryou mumbled to himself. "I'm going to win the bet for sure"

"What bet?" Bakura asked glaring at Ryou.

"Oh umm it's nothing" Ryou said nervously scratching the back of his head.

"You, Marik and Yugi are having a bet to see which one of us is going to wreck first right?" Bakura asked still looking at Ryou.

"No" Ryou said "BAKURA WATCH OUT" Ryou screamed Bakura took his eyes off of his light and back onto the road, he had gotten distracted and he was about to hit a tree. His eyes widened as the tree got closer and closer.

"PRESS THE BRAKE" Ryou yelled Bakura did but the car sped up more.

"That's the gas!" Ryou shouted panic in his voice. "Turn the wheel"

Bakura jerked the wheel to the left causing the car to skid, luckily no cars were parked outside of their driveways today because Ryou had told his neighbors that he would be teaching someone how to drive for this week and they needed to keep their cars out of the way.

Ryou reached over, putting the car in park. Bakura and Ryou panted not looking at each other.

"Rule one when it comes to driving" Ryou said still panting "NEVER, EVER take your eyes off the road"

Yami got into Yugi's car, one that his grandpa had given to him for his seventeenth birthday; it was a Toyota Cambered which was red with a tan interior. Yugi adore the car. Yami laughed opening the door to see that the seat was almost to the steering wheel.

"I can't help I'm short" Yugi pouted getting into the car.

"It's okay love" Yami said getting into the car after adjusting the seat so he could get in. "It allows you to reach certain places"

Yugi blushed "Ya-Yami not now"

Yami laughed "Okay Aibou, what do I do?"

"First do you remember the car parts?" Yugi asked.

"I think so" Yami said.

"Then tell me" Yugi said.

"This is the blinker; I think up is right and down is left?" Yami asked looking at Yugi. Yugi smiled and nodded. "Umm I think when it rains you have to turn those wiper thingies"

"Wield shield wipers" Yugi giggled. "Go on"

"Umm I think when you change gears you press the brake and then pull the gear shift toward you so that you can put it in the gear you desire."

Yugi smiled he was definitely going to win this bet.

"What are the mirrors for Yami?" Yugi asked

"Umm…for me to check to see if I am still gorgeous" Yami said.

Yugi burst into a fit of laughter. Then he paled "No"

Yami shrugged.

Yugi sighed "They're so you can see who's around you dork" Yugi said "Now start the car up and put the car in reverse"

"Why?" Yami asked looking at Yugi like he'd lost his mind.

"Do you want to run into the shop?" Yugi asked.

"No" Yami said and he started the car, pressing the brake he put the car in reverse.

"Now ease out onto the street, I'll help you, I want you to take a right at the end of the driveway Yami"

Yami nodded slowly backing up onto the street. Luckily no one was coming at the current moment. "Turn the wheel to the left"

"But why I thought we were going right" Yami said.

"We are" Yugi said.

"Then why" Yami started but shrugged it off, it was one of those stupid modern things and he wished he had no part of, but sadly Yugi had made him do this.

Yami finally got onto the road, putting the car in overdrive and speeding off. Yugi yelped making sure his seatbelt was snug. Yami turned the radio on to full blast after finding a song of his liking and sped off down the road.

"Yami make sure you pay attention to stop signs please" Yugi said as Yami flew past one without stopping a car skidded to a Holt and cursed loudly blowing their horn.

"Yami please pay attention to me" Yugi pleaded.

"Sorry Aibou" Yami said turning the radio down some. The rest of the driving went pretty well, only a few rolling stops and almost getting caught by the police, Yugi smiled knowing that Bakura and Mariku were not faring well at all.

Later in the afternoon, Marik and Mariku rode on Marik's bike to pick up Ryou's car.

"Looks like you get to sit in my ass heat" Bakura smirked as Mariku got off of the motorcycle.

"I'll make sure that Ryou and I fuck in it so you can sit in my cum" Mariku shot back. Bakura stopped laughing narrowing his eyes.

"You wouldn't dare" he said

"What makes you think we haven't already?" Mariku asked

"Okay, okay you two" Marik said he walked up to Bakura pulling him into a kiss. "Hello sexy"

"Hey" Bakura said.

"Want to go have some fun?" Marik asked.

Ryou elbowed Marik in the side. "You're here to teach Mariku how to drive not get laid by my yami"

Marik just rolled his eyes. "I know and my yami is going to beat yours"

"Bakura did very well today besides the fact we almost hit a tree" Ryou said.

Mariku laughed. "Bakura are you blind that you can't see a tree?"

"No moron" Bakura spat "I wasn't looking at the road"

"And you got a higher score on the exam because…" Mariku trailed off.

"Because I'm a _real_ fucking genius unlike that bratty Rebecca bitch and Kaiba" Bakura boasted.

"Yeah, yeah" Mariku said "Come on Hikari let's get going"

Ryou handed Marik the keys and the Egyptians walked to the car.

"Bakura your parking is shit" Mariku yelled over the roaring over the car.

"Is the seat warm enough for you?" Bakura retorted.

"Sure is, no looking at Ryou's ass while I'm gone" Mariku shouted.

"I'm going to do more than that" Bakura said. Mariku was about to get out of the car but Marik locked the doors.

"Why-why are the doors" He asked but then he realized that Marik had locked the doors.

"Bakura is with me dork" Marik said "He doesn't like Ryou that way so chill out"

Mariku growled and then calmed down.

"Do as I say and I won't have to repeat myself; your ass is going to win this bet for me"

"Whatever" Mariku said "Let me guess I pull the handle thing and slam on the gas"

"No" Marik paled. "Gods Mariku, first you press the brake with your right foot then you grab the gearshift and you put it in reverse"

"Why?" Mariku asked "We have plenty of room to get through the yard"

"I'm pretty sure that Ryou doesn't want his yard messed up now stop being stupid" Marik snapped. Mariku narrowed his eyes at his light but didn't say anything.

Mariku put the car in reverse, slamming on the gas pedal he swerved down the driveway. Ryou looked on horrified.

"MARIKU STOP" Marik shouted and Mariku slammed on brakes.

"What is the matter now?" Mariku asked getting impatient with this stupid driving.

"You have to go slow when backing up" Marik sighed.

"Fine" Mariku said through clenched teeth. Slowly he made his way onto the street and changed the car into overdrive, slamming on the gas. Marik yelped as his dark half sped through the arena, almost hitting a stray cat.

"Oh man why couldn't I have hit that cat?" Bakura asked laughing at Mariku's crazy driving. Ryou sighed this was going to be a long week.

Days passed by every day Bakura would drive in the morning much to his disliking of course and Mariku would drive in the afternoon. Meanwhile, Yami would drive whenever and where he pleased. Bakura and Mariku often had mini bets to see who could kill the most animals or almost hit the most trees until their hikari's had to stop it. All and all though, the three dark halves were becoming some-what safe drivers.

On the last day, Yugi's grandpa drove in from out of town and he had his car, which he gladly let Yami borrow, the day before Yugi suggested that all three Yami's drive at the same time then they would see who really was a better driver.

Everyone headed to Marik's house since it was more in the country than Ryou and Yugi's houses were.

"Okay guys, obey traffic laws, do NOT run over anything" Ryou said looking at his yami. Bakura shrugged as he stepped into the car.

"Do not try to outrun the cops, our cars cannot do that" Yugi said.

"Oh and Mariku don't fall asleep again" Marik said.

Everyone got into the cars, put their stupid seatbelts on. Yami and Bakura glared at each other. Bakura pressed the gas the car revered up. Yami glared as well and revered his engine too. Mariku laughed doing the same.

"Oh boy" Ryou said taking a seat on Marik's front porch.

"What is it?" Marik asked doing the same.

"The yami's are going to race" Yugi giggled. Bakura threw the car into overdrive and sped off, leaving the other two darks in his dirt.

"Hey" Mariku shouted. "Get back here thief"

But all they could hear was Bakura's crazy laugher and the car was already down the road. Yami, being completive and the King of Games, threw his car into driving position and sped after the thief. Mariku, who didn't really care about winning either way because he knew he was supreme quickly followed suit.

Soon the three yami's caught up with each other, luckily they were driving on a dirt road with no one around for miles, unfortunately it started to get dark and they had to throw their headlights on. Yami, not being able to see too well pushed his bright lights on which angered Mariku who slammed on brakes because the light was blinding him. Yami hit the back of Ryou's car. Both of them had to get out.

"What the fuck Pharaoh" Mariku cried "You could have blinded me"

"Well I'm sorry that this dirt is so dark and there aren't any street lights around here"

"Bakura and I can see perfectly fine, maybe you should get your eyes checked" Mariku suggested "That way you won't be blinding me and others!"

"Since when have you started to care about other people" Yami fired.

"Why did you hit my car?" Mariku asked instead.

"Because you slammed on brakes."

"People always slam on brakes!"

Suddenly Bakura pulled up honking his horn. "If you two plan on winning this race of ours I suggest you stop bitching amongst one another and get your ass in your cars because believe me I plan on winning"

And with that, Bakura sped off. Mariku and Yami glanced at each other, quickly returning to their cars.

It was a close call, but because of Bakura determined to hit a skunk and Mariku laughing about Yami's blindness, Yami won the race.

"I'm winning next time Pharaoh" Bakura said slamming the door to the car.

"That's what you think" Yami smirked his features lightened however when he saw the three lights glaring at them.

"Well, we made a bet on the three of you to see who the better driver is" Ryou said.

"Well that's me of course" Yami said "After all I won the race"

"No" Yugi said shaking his head. "That doesn't mean anything, our bet was safe driver and you defiantly are not a safe driver"

"In fact none of you are" Marik said.

"So we are going to have to teach you three all over again." Ryou said.

"UGGH" the three darks groaned.

"But this time, you'll teach each other" Marik said.

Then the three lights went back inside.

The three darks stood there trying to take in everything that was said to them.

"WAIT WHAT" they cried.

The end

I hope y'all like this crazy one-shot. I woke up this morning and I'm like Bakura, Mariku, and Yami driving….yeah anyways tell me what you think :D, this was fun but I like chapter stories better…oh well….bye, bye now.


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